Performance Trends, Inc.

Producing Quality Computer Tools for Racers and Engine Builders since 1986

The Funny Farm

We've got quite a customer base and list of friends which share jokes, pics, movies, and internet links which will get you to LOL.  Check some of these out when you need a laugh. 

Click here if you want to submit a picture file, joke, movie file, or link.  Remember, keep it clean, something the kids can enjoy also (even if they may not understand).  Let us know if you want credit for it, like a link to your website or email address.

Cars and Drivers

2012 Woodward Dream Cruise (not funny, but fun pics)

I ain't pullin over (movie) Sept 2008

Don't Honk at Senior Citizens (movie) Sept 2008

Drive Carefully Sept 2008

A thrown rod is nothing compared to a "thrown block" (movie)  July 2009

http://www.lov2xlr8.no/broch1.html  Not funny, but great fun, Car Brochures from the past  Jan 2010

Fixed It Defroster.jpg (29618 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed it Jeep Door.jpg (78840 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed It Air Cleaner Duct.jpg (49037 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed It Hood Ornament.jpg (76224 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed It Back Tire.jpg (48883 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed It Isuzu Door.jpg (44131 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Fixed It Turn SIgnal.jpg (78023 bytes)  (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

An old Honda Civic is stalled on the side of the road.  A Ferrari driver stops and ask the elderly Civic owner if he can help, and they agree to tow the Civic to the next Gas station. Before they take off, the Ferrari driver tells the Civic driver to Honk, if he drives too fast.  A few minutes into the tow, a Lambo passes at high speed. The Ferrari driver forgets all about the Civic and floor it, to race that Lambo. They pass a Gas station, where the mechanic is blown out of the chair, and immediately grabs his Cell, and phones the next Gas station: Jim, watch the road for a Lambo and a Ferrari racing, and an old Honda Civic catching up, honking wildly, trying to pass!  Feb 2015

 

Animals

Skateboarding Bulldog (movie) Sept 2008

Why is the water bill so high (movie) Sept 2008

Triumph does the weather report (movie) Sept 2008

Just don't lick me there (movie) July 2009

Giant Snake (movie) July 2009

Florida Gators  Mar 2010

Playmate of the year.  No, not that kind of playmate (movie)  Mar 2010

 

Redneck Humor

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

You only need 2 tools in life:  WD-40 and Duct Tape.  
If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.  
If it shouldn't move and it does, use the Duct Tape.

pic06234.jpg (228635 bytes) Red Neck Smoke Detector  (click image to enlarge it) Sept 2008

redneck_tank_top.jpg (26192 bytes) Red Neck Tank Top  (click image to enlarge it)  Sept 2008

Red neck swing.jpg (96187 bytes) Red Neck Lawn Swing  (click image to enlarge it)  July 2009

red neck bbq.jpg (132546 bytes) Red Neck BBQ  (click image to enlarge it)  July 2009

Redneck babysitter.jpg (21046 bytes) Red Neck Baby Sitter  (click image to enlarge it)  July 2009

redneck mailbox.jpg (24083 bytes) Red Neck Mail Box  (click image to enlarge it)  July 2009

 

 

Men and Women

To my darling husband (text and pic)  Sept 2008

Women Drivers:  Top 10 List (text and pics) Sept 2008

ATT000611.gif (18770 bytes) Loving Wife Forces Sale of Bike (click image to enlarge it)  Sept 2008

Dear Tide (product endorsement) Sept 2008

How to tell the Sex of a Fly (text)  Oct 2009

Men, are they just born that way? (movie file, little racy)   Oct 2009

Women, are they just born that way? (movie file)  Oct 2009

A  woman is standing looking in the bedroom  mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says  to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat  and ugly... I really need you to pay me a  compliment."   The husband  replies, "Your eyesight's damn near  perfect."  Mar 2010

Breakfast in Bed.jpg (61087 bytes)   (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

 

 

Work and Recreation

How not to work out (movie) Sept 2008

Power Drill (movie) Sept 2008

Nail Gun (movie) Sept 2008

Real 911 Calls (movie from Tonight Show-Leno) Sept 2008

Gladys Calls the Ellen Show (link to another website) July 2009 

Base Ball Cap.gif (196077 bytes) Sure wish they'd make something to keep the sun out of my eyes! (click image to enlarge)   Oct 2009

Fixed It Toilet.jpg (75824 bytes)    (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

Plumber with a Sense of Humor.jpg (87760 bytes)    (click image to enlarge it)  Mar 2010

 

Kids

Raising Boys (text)  Sept 2008

What's the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
Bird flu you cure with a "tweetment" , but Swine Flu takes an "oinkment"   . 
Oct 2009

 

 

Getting Older

SUCCESS:
    At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
    At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
    At age 35 success is . .. . .Having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
    At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . .. . Having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

Visiting Grandpa In the Hospital:
      A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into Grandpa's room... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" 
      "What? Why ?" said her Grandpa. 
      "Make a noise like a frog - because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disneyland!!!"

Made in God's Image: (May 2014)
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. 
She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?" 

 

2012 Woodward Dream Cruise Pics

Largest Motorsports Event in the World, with 1.5 million participants and spectators on Saturday, but the events and cruisin goes on all week.  www.woodwarddreamcruise.com.

(click pics to enlarge)